Two and a half years

2011-02-03T23:47:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure how to say this. What should I say, how should I start. Kind of feels like a break up letter but not quite.

Izzah in the Sky with Diamonds have occupied this url for 2 years, 5 months and a bit. I've documented my life in boarding and the beginnings of my university life. I've also gained 44 followers (not including family and friends), which, if you think about it, is pretty good for a nobody. Followers and friends have read whatever I put up, from the happiest moment of my life (so far) to my absolute hatred for St Shit's school. I've shared my innermost thoughts and almost every bit of my self-discovery, which I've done a lot over the past two years, on here.

At first, the blog was an easy way to update the family back home of how I was doing. At some point it became more of a diary than a log book. I put too much of myself on it. In fact, the blog was me. Just about anything you need to know about me is in that blog. I was fine with it for a while, because obviously, I loved the attention. I loved seeing the view count spike whenever I post something and knowing that someone cares enough to read. People who don't know me thinks I'm interesting enough to follow, what's not to like about that?

Three months ago I met this person in university. He said he never really used Facebook because it gives people the chance to judge him before they meet him. Facebook lets people judge you based on what pictures your friends posted of you, what music you like, what religion or racial background you're from. This issue has haunted me ever since. I am on just about every single networking site out there. I have been on the internet for a long, long, long time. I've been here since the dial-up years. I've been here since before friendster. I've been here since the Kazaa years, since I had my first desktop computer.

I would be lying if I said I've used Facebook less since then. I've been using it more than I have before, just because it's the best way to do "society business". I have, however, been blogging less, tweeting less, boothing less and just in general, distancing myself from about every other social networking sites. It was a lot of work and it took quite some time to remember what other social networking sites I'm on. Like I said, the internet has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Some of the embarrassing childhood accounts have been either privatised or deactivated. Others, abandoned. I'm still on Facebook and Twitter, can't avoid that. I'm on Tumblr as well, not to blog, but to get my daily fix of well, something I'm embarrassed to admit even to myself. Lol.

I don't know if I'm completely going to stop blogging or not. I know that I am not avoiding the internet. I love the internet and all that it has done for me. I'm just taking my personal life back. I have my friends, the ones in university who I see every other day atleast, the ones all over the country who I call whenever I can, the international ones I met from my conferences (Netherlands, France and US, to name a few) and the ones back at home. I have my family as well. I realised I don't need the attention of a kind stranger (or creeper). I don't need to put my thoughts out there and hope some stranger will like it.

That, hopefully, justifies my reason to privatise my blog. I am saying this not because I am a bitch who thinks the world revolves around me and that everyone wants to read my blog. I am saying this as a blogger with a few loyal readers and quite a few followers. Maybe one day, once I can laugh over the stupid things I say as a sixteen year old, I might put it back up, just for the sake of it. Maybe. Maybe I'll be back, sharing my views of the world once again. Maybe this will be the last you'll see of me.

But one thing's for sure, here's the last Sexy/Unsexy you'll get from me.

Sexy:

1. You. For taking the time to read this until the end (or jump to the end because it's too boring). Thank you.

2. Growing up. I know I've been saying over and over again how I don't want to grow up but I realised growing up isn't giving up your childhood dreams. Growing up is just taking over your responsibilities, which doesn't always have to suck.

Unsexy:

World Suck and Lexical Gaps. So go give some money to decrease this "world suck". This guy gives all donation straight to poor kids. As for lexical gaps, there's nothing we can do about it, except maybe, somehow invent new words and get everyone who speaks the language to use it.

Goodbye Letter

Two and a half years